Free Classroom Joke - "Who's Watching the Cookies?"

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all You want. God is watching the apples!"

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Have a nice fall weekend! I love apples. I found out that apples work better at waking a person up than coffee. And I think that's a great way to do something healthy for your body! Enjoy your time, hopefully get out and take in the crisp air! If you are indoors, please visit our site, Schoodoodle.com. You never know what you might find! Enjoy!

Free Teacher Joke - "Punctuation"

An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing"
On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the MALES in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
While All the FEMALES in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Free Teacher Joke - "The Composition"

Teacher: Jeff, your composition on "Our Family Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

Jeff: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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Hope you have a great weekend! It's time to open up the windows and let some fresh air in! If you find yourself at home and need to order supplies for your class, please visit our website. Click here and be directed to Schoodoodle.com.

Free Teacher Joke - "Saying Prayers"

Teacher: Now, Johnnie, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Johnnie: No mam, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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Well, here we are facing April already! Time to make that last pot of chilli or perhaps a nice pot roast to last the weekend. If you need any school supplies before the end of this school year, or perhaps looking forward to next year, please visit Schoodoodle.com. It's a great place to browse! Enjoy!

Free Teacher Joke - "Signing in the Dark"

LINDA: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

LINDA: Your name on this report card.

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Hope you have a safe and happy weekend. For those of you going out to an Easter Egg Hunt, happy hunting! If you're near your computer all weekend, why not drop by Schoodoodle.com and see what's new and available for your classroom?

Free Teacher Joke - "Discovery"

TEACHER: Michael, go to the map and find North America.

MICHAEL: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Michael!

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Have a great weekend! Go out and discover your passion! Or, stay home and visit our school supply website! Visit Schoodoodle.com for spring ideas for your classroom! Either way, enjoy!

Free Teacher Joke - "Pointless"

Sally: Want to hear the story about the broken pencil?

Phil: No thanks, I'm sure it has no point.

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Great weekend to stay inside and browse the internet! If you're looking for school supplies, check out our website, Schoodoodle.com. It's loaded with fun ideas for your classroom!

Free Teacher Joke - "Man's Best Friend"

I was sitting in a hospital waiting room watching a young mother helping her son finish a crossword puzzle.

"Mom," he asked, "what fits here?"

"It's Man's best friend," she hinted.

The boy thought for a second then guessed,

"Duct tape?"

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Well, it's the last weekend of January 2008 already. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for warmer weather. Right about now I like to plan a nice vacation just to by-pass the chilly weather. A nice trip to a tropical island is where I'd like to be about now. If you need to decorate your bulletin boards or want ideas of how to warm up your classroom, check out our catalog. Just follow this link and above all, enjoy your weekend!

Free Teacher Joke - "Chicken Little"

One day I was reading the story of Chicken Little to my kindergarten class. I came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

I read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'"

When I paused I asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

Annie raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'What the hay! A talking chicken!!'"


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Free Teacher Joke - "Paperless"

I recently gave a speech at a teacher's conference on "Ways to Go Paperless," I opened the floor to questions.

"I have one," said a fellow teacher. "Where are the handouts?"

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I hope you have a safe and happy weekend! My weekend will be filled with cleaning my house and getting ready for the new year (even though it's already here). I like to do this after the holidays. Hope you have a good time whatever your activity may be. If you find yourself shopping on-line, please check out our new items at Schoodoodle.com. Here's a link.

Free Teacher Joke - "The Price of Balloons"

Watching me fill balloons with helium at my school supply shop, a customer asked the price.

"It's a dollar per balloon," the cashier said.

The customer complained, "It used to be fifty cents."

Another customer concluded, "Well that's inflation."

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I'm hoping your holidays are filled with fun activities. If it's snowing or raining and it causes a shift in plans for you, please visit our website and check out the new items we've added. If ideas for your classroom is what you're looking for, then you've come to the right place! Simply click on the link and visit us on line! Here's a link. Enjoy!

Free Teacher Joke - "What Bothers You the Most?"

I rushed my thirteen-year-old son, Eric, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, upset stomach, vomiting, diarrhea, and 102 degree fever. The doctor did an exam, and then asked Eric what bothered him the most.

After thinking it over, Eric said with a scratchy voice, "I would have to say getting an 'F' in Spanish."

Free Teacher Joke - "Rooftop Love"

Two antenna were hanging out on the rooftop.

After a few months, they fell in love and decided

to get married.

The wedding ceremony was pretty ordinary....

BUT THE RECEPTION WAS EXCELLENT!

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Here's hoping your weekend is filled with laughter and good times and that your next reception is excellent! Enjoy! If you're browsing the internet, and happen to need a classroom supply, visit our on-line catalog. Here's a link. You just never know what you might find!

Free Teacher Joke - "Mom Has Stats"

Little Eric and his mother were out and about. Little Eric, out of the blue, asked his mother, "Mommy, how old are you?" His mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

Little Eric then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weight?" His mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this too, as you grow up." Little Eric still wanting to know about his mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" His mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." Then Little Eric, frustrated, sulks until he is dropped off at a friend's house to play.

He consults with his friend about the conversation between his mom and him. His friend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, Little Eric and his mother are out and about again. Little Eric starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. You're 37 years old." The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" Eric shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weight. You weight 150 pounds." "Where did you learn that?" said the mother again. Eric says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."

Free Teacher Joke - "Crayons"

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Mike came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Mary, I ain't got no crayons." "Mike," Miss Mary said, "you mean," I don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Mike said, "What happened to all them crayons?"

Hope your weekend is full of fun activities! Enjoy the colors of fall!

When looking for varieties of crayons, try this link, Schoodoodle has a wide selection of crayola products... you're sure to find what you are looking for!

Free Teacher Joke - "What does your daddy do?"

"What's your father's occupation?"
asked the teacher on the first day of school.
"He's a magician, Ma'am," said the new boy.
"How fascinating! What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Gosh! That’s really something!
Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two
half sisters."



Hope your weekend is truly magical!

Home From School Joke

The student comes home after his first day at school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
Her son replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

Free Teacher Joke: First Day of School Note

A schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."