Free Classroom Joke - "A Moral Lesson"

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kenny 5, and Tom 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kenny turned to his younger brother and said,' Tom, you be Jesus !'

Free Teacher Joke - "Contractions"

Teacher: If "can't" is short for "cannot,"
what is "don't" short for?

Student: Doughnut.

Free Teacher Joke - "Water"

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

BOBBY: "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

BOBBY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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Hope you have a great weekend! I love this time of year because of the beautiful lilac bushes in bloom. Take time to smell the flowers! And...

If you are a mom, have a Happy Mother's Day on Sunday!

Free Teacher Joke - "Discovery"

TEACHER: Michael, go to the map and find North America.

MICHAEL: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Michael!

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Have a great weekend! Go out and discover your passion! Or, stay home and visit our school supply website! Visit Schoodoodle.com for spring ideas for your classroom! Either way, enjoy!

Free Teacher Joke "I Didn't Do It"

Jack came home from school and complained to his mother saying, "Mom, today I was punished at school for something I didn't do!"

His mom said, "Jack that's terrible! Do you want me to call your teacher to complain?"

Jack said, "I don't think that will help!"

Mom said, "That's ridiculous! What was it that you didn't do?"

Jack replied, "My homework."

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Have a great weekend! It's March already, time to change your bulletin board from winter to spring decorations. Check out our great papers, trims and bulletin board sets for spring! You'll love what we have to offer! Enjoy!

Free Teacher Joke - "Stay Calm"

In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.
The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Jack; don't scream, Jack; don't yell, Jack; keep calm, Jack."
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Jack."
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Jack."

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Great weekend everybody! If you go shopping, bring your patience, or better yet, shop on-line! If it's school supplies you're in need of, please visit our place. Here's a link.

Free Teacher Joke - "Pointless"

Sally: Want to hear the story about the broken pencil?

Phil: No thanks, I'm sure it has no point.

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Great weekend to stay inside and browse the internet! If you're looking for school supplies, check out our website, Schoodoodle.com. It's loaded with fun ideas for your classroom!

Free Teacher Joke - "Man's Best Friend"

I was sitting in a hospital waiting room watching a young mother helping her son finish a crossword puzzle.

"Mom," he asked, "what fits here?"

"It's Man's best friend," she hinted.

The boy thought for a second then guessed,

"Duct tape?"

* * * *

Well, it's the last weekend of January 2008 already. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for warmer weather. Right about now I like to plan a nice vacation just to by-pass the chilly weather. A nice trip to a tropical island is where I'd like to be about now. If you need to decorate your bulletin boards or want ideas of how to warm up your classroom, check out our catalog. Just follow this link and above all, enjoy your weekend!

Free Teacher Joke - "Chicken Little"

One day I was reading the story of Chicken Little to my kindergarten class. I came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

I read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'"

When I paused I asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

Annie raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'What the hay! A talking chicken!!'"


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Free Teacher Joke - "The Price of Balloons"

Watching me fill balloons with helium at my school supply shop, a customer asked the price.

"It's a dollar per balloon," the cashier said.

The customer complained, "It used to be fifty cents."

Another customer concluded, "Well that's inflation."

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I'm hoping your holidays are filled with fun activities. If it's snowing or raining and it causes a shift in plans for you, please visit our website and check out the new items we've added. If ideas for your classroom is what you're looking for, then you've come to the right place! Simply click on the link and visit us on line! Here's a link. Enjoy!

Free Teacher Joke - "What Bothers You the Most?"

I rushed my thirteen-year-old son, Eric, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, upset stomach, vomiting, diarrhea, and 102 degree fever. The doctor did an exam, and then asked Eric what bothered him the most.

After thinking it over, Eric said with a scratchy voice, "I would have to say getting an 'F' in Spanish."

Free Teacher Joke - "Rooftop Love"

Two antenna were hanging out on the rooftop.

After a few months, they fell in love and decided

to get married.

The wedding ceremony was pretty ordinary....

BUT THE RECEPTION WAS EXCELLENT!

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Here's hoping your weekend is filled with laughter and good times and that your next reception is excellent! Enjoy! If you're browsing the internet, and happen to need a classroom supply, visit our on-line catalog. Here's a link. You just never know what you might find!

Free Teacher Joke - "A Gift For Teacher"

It was the day before the Winter Break, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Free Teacher Jokes - "Thanksgiving Quiz"

With the holidays right around the corner, here's a few questions you can share with your class. Call it a "pop-quiz" of a different sort, but it will be sure to bring some laughter to your class!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? ...................Pilgrims!


If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? .........Their AGE




What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?................. Plymouth Rock

How much did the Mayflower weigh? ........................A Puri-TON

Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
............Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.



Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? ....
...............No, you should just have the turkey!

What sound does a turkey's phone make? ..........Wing Wing


When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?......... In the dictionary!


How do you keep a turkey in suspense? .............I'll tell you at Christmas.


Why did the turkey cross the road? .............It was the chicken's day off.


Well, hope you have a great time with these jokes. If you get any funny responses, please post them! Enjoy! I will be most thankful for your responses!

Free Teacher Joke - "Standard Time Change"

This weekend ..
we will switch
the clock back
one hour to
standard time.
That means that hundreds of people will

accidentally be on time for Sunday School.

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Here's a riddle:

Three brothers share a family sport:
A nonstop marathon.
The oldest one is fat and short
And trudges slowly on.
The middle brother is tall and slim
And keeps a steady pace.
The youngest runs just like the wind,
Speeding through the race.
"He's young in years, we let him run,"
The other brothers say.
"'Cause though he's surely number one,
He's second, in a way."
What is this riddle talking about?

Answer: The hands of a clock: hour, minute and second.

FREE TEACHER JOKE - "The Halloween Spirit Quiz"

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If you believe in surprise quizes for your class (and who doesn't enjoy that!), then here's a few pop-quiz questions both you and your class will like to share "in the spirit of Halloween":

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Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A: Blood Tests. Lots and Lots of Blood Tests!
* * *
A: Knock, knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Boo
B: Boo Who?
A: Don't be a cry-baby!
* * *
Q: What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A: blood vessel...
* * *
Q: What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
A: Bloodhounds...
* * *
Q: What is the baby ghost's favorite game to play?
A: Peek-a-BOO! (make sure you emphasize the "Boo")!

FREE TEACHER JOKE - Halloween MUMMY

Please share this Halloween joke:

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?

They're too wrapped up in themselves.


It's a great weekend to call a good friend and get together to enjoy their company. I'll be baking, so my kitchen will be full of the delicious smell of home-made bread. Here's hoping you have a great weekend!

Free Teacher Joke - "Crayons"

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Mike came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Mary, I ain't got no crayons." "Mike," Miss Mary said, "you mean," I don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Mike said, "What happened to all them crayons?"

Hope your weekend is full of fun activities! Enjoy the colors of fall!

When looking for varieties of crayons, try this link, Schoodoodle has a wide selection of crayola products... you're sure to find what you are looking for!

Free Teacher Joke - "What does your daddy do?"

"What's your father's occupation?"
asked the teacher on the first day of school.
"He's a magician, Ma'am," said the new boy.
"How fascinating! What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Gosh! That’s really something!
Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two
half sisters."



Hope your weekend is truly magical!

Free Teacher Joke - "Sad Face"

Teacher: What a sad face.

What would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!




Have a happy weekend!

Free Teacher Joke - "Ageless"

A young student asked an elderly instructor how old she was.
She answered, "39 and holding."
The child thought for a moment, then said,
"And how old would you be if you let go?"

Here's a reminder to create precious memories with your youngsters. Click this link for a keepsake portfolio.

Home From School Joke

The student comes home after his first day at school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
Her son replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

Free Teacher Joke: First Day of School Note

A schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."